If you have children with your ex-spouse, it is highly likely that you will end up in a joint custody situation with them after your divorce. Generally speaking, the courts consider joint custody to be in the best interest of the child, and this is why joint custody is so common.
However, the thought of having sole custody of your child may be very enticing for you for multiple reasons, including the idea of easier logistics. Overall, though, Custody Exchange warns that trying to fight for sole custody may end up putting all the power in the hands of strangers, and it could backfire against you.
Why would strangers get power?
It is likely that if you try for sole custody of your children that your divorce will end up in court rather than settled. Taking a divorce to court ends up costing a lot of time and money, and it means that the decision-making power gets put in the hands of a neutral third-party judge.
On the other hand, if you can negotiate terms directly with your ex-spouse (the courts call this “collaborative divorce”), then the parents of the child can make the decisions together determining who gets custody of the children when.
How could this backfire?
Unless you have a history of violence or substance abuse in your family, it is highly unlikely that the courts will automatically award you sole custody of any children. Trying to retain this level of authority over your children with no just cause and demonstrating an unwillingness to co-parent can make you look bad in the eyes of the judge.